Permission to play

On our journey of personal development one of the main themes is that of seeking meaning and purpose. We want to understand how we make the most of our journey for the best experience possible and we want to live life well to make a difference. As I get older (another birthday this week!) I am acutely aware of time passing and the preciousness of the time I have. Part of moving through the journey of life is the realisation that the amount of the time behind us keeps increasing compared to the time ahead of us. In positive framing, this means we have more experience and more opportunities to explore than before. We understand ourselves better as time goes on because we experience ourselves in a greater variety of contexts as we live longer. In fact, I find it really helpful to consider myself growing rather than ageing. A positive effect of this relationship we have with time is that it can lead us to wanting to improve the quality of the time we have left. A potential downside is that it can become stressful wanting to cram in all the meaningful moments! We can succumb to guilt if we feel we are wasting time.

It is true that on a journey it is important to plan. Particularly if we think the terrain will become challenging or the elements might conspire against us along the way. In life’s journey - the planning, the search for meaning and the desire for significance can lead to a ‘seriousness bias’. By that I mean we can want to live life so deeply and so well that we can get bogged down in taking life seriously and miss the opportunities given by the lighter moments.

I feel this very keenly. As a student of human nature and a coach I take life seriously. I want to do life well with integrity and live in alignment with my values. However, this does not mean I need to BE serious all the time. Taking life seriously and being serious are very different things. It’s precisely because I want to make good use of precious time that I consider the concept of play as a seriously good use of time!

Play may feel like a waste of time or not a good use of time. It may feel like a distraction. It may feel indulgent or shallow to some. Think of the journey metaphor again. Why do we travel? Yes, to learn. Yes, to improve and to grow. But we mostly want to travel to gain experience and to feel joy and wonder. Activities that restore our energy and increase our joy are ‘play’.

I’m not talking about zoning out in front of the TV or hours of scrolling as play. Play is not defined as ‘not work’. I’m talking about play as exploration. Activities with no particular end goal except to have fun, relax, enjoy an experience and be open to learn something new. Play as discovery, not distraction suddenly seems like a very good use of time in order to increase development and experience, no?!

What could happen if we reframe our thoughts towards play and consider play as a tool in our development and not a distraction? Could we consider play as an enhancement to the journey rather than frivolity that distracts us from the serious business of living?

Those of us who want ‘to suck the marrow out of life’ and live to our potential may be surprised to discover that play is a big part of it. Far from being a distraction and the realm of those who ‘don’t take life seriously’, play might just be another tool in the toolkit of expanding our experience while still holding on to meaning and purpose. Perhaps we are hesitant to play because we don’t want to waste our precious time. I wonder if play is a gift to enhance our precious time and woven in to work and rest, play actually offers the opportunity to grow and develop that we are looking for.

Next month I’ll be digging a bit deeper and looking at how play might offer that development, as I explore the benefits of play and creativity in our lives. In the meantime, may I invite you to engage with the following questions:

Transformational Questions:

·        What is my relationship with play?

·        Do I think of play as development or distraction?

·        How do I increase joy in my life?

·        What one thing can I change to develop play in my life?

If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com